Ever have the feeling it was time but you weren't sure for what? Like a change, or this is it, or okay what now?

An equally bizarre thought crosses my mind with respect to mystic experiences, almost paranormal things. I can immediately think of two experiences that are the closest I think I ever got to something people might consider not normal or real. One instance was when I was with a woman at her house at night and I was telling her about this thing/being I could almost imagine, you know, one of those monsters from the id with two claw-like feet and you can't exactly see it but it'll rip you apart. I felt it was very close like right outside the door and she made me stop talking about it because I was frightening her. We eventually broke up. At the moment I wonder if it would have gotten closer had I stayed with her. It could still be there. I think about it and even try to call it forth now and then but nothing happens, not even the feeling of closeness.

The other time was when I listening to Throbbing Gristle's Heathen Earth album and I really felt like I was leaving my body, floating to the ceiling nearly breaking the string, it was great and bizarre. Patty called me back though. Only that one time . . .

Each of those incidents I presently see as being beautiful (I can hear Rich Coad chortling in the background.) but I think I see violence or violence under the surface of it. Extreme damage violence, you know, of a frightening type, but one you know will fill your spirit while probably simultaneously ripping it out from you, from your throat or lungs or stomach or wherever it resides (assuming it exists at all), particularly when it's frightened or maybe at peace, the stilled inner voice in its basic form).

Anyway for bizarre, unknown reasons I think of these things at this time, awaiting possibilities, also awaiting the possibilities of the passing of untouched possibilities.

To Skug Index Page